The Mug Grinch

There is a type of person who can't handle a proper full size mug.

He is the Mugman's nemesis.

He is...

The Mug Grinch.
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Muffin Break

I had no idea I was about to have one of the worst coffee experiences of my life.

And at a well-established franchise, no less.

Ask for a mugguccino, or hell, even a regular cappuccino if that's what you're after, and the server will refuse your order. It has to be either a small, a medium or large size. Muffin Break are breaking all the rules on this one.

How does the caffeine levels work with this system? Does it go up by shots, i.e. small has one, medium has two and the large beast have three? Or do they cheat and fool you with extra milk, therefore weakening the coffee/milk ratio?

Well, the Mugman is no fool. Last time I'll be putting up with this idiocy.

For the record I ordered a small cappuccino for mother Mugman and I myself had a medium size (I was very wary of excessive milk being used). 
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Scoring system:
1. Reaction (You're an idiot = 0; quizzical = 5; just another order = 10)
2. Served in a mug (No mug = 0; yes mug = 10)
3. Additional Cost for Mugguccino (>$1 = 0; between .50c and $1 = 5; <.50c = 10)
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Rubyniks Points
1. Reaction =0
2. Served in a mug =5
3. Price =0
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TOTAL SCORE =5
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Muffin Break should be renamed Coffee Etiquette Break.
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Muffin Break Facebook Page
Muffin Break Homepage
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Rubyniks

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Joined by the Mugman's mother, another mugguccino enthusiast, we ventured to Sydney's south and reviewed Rubyniks. Located in the massive Westfields Miranda, this cafe is packed due to the constant flow of Shire folk toddling laps of the mall.

As the waitress delivered menus to our table she wasted no time in asking what drinks we were after. Mugman's mother ordered first: a mugguccino on skim milk, naturally. The waitress nonchalantly scribbled that down as she'd been doing it all day. I ordered next and, confident that she was comfortable with her coffee knowledge - inquired what exactly was in a mugguccino at this particular establishment. She recited the answer instantly: a double shot of coffee in a mug. And afterwards I swear she tightened her eyes and gave a small shrug, as if to say, 'duh'. I felt like explaining to her "I completely understand!" but I remembered I am the Mugman, and anonymity is imperative.
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Scoring system:
1. Reaction (You're an idiot = 0; quizzical = 5; just another order = 10)
2. Served in a mug (No mug = 0; yes mug = 10)
3. Additional Cost for Mugguccino (>$1 = 0; between .50c and $1 = 5; <.50c = 10)
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Rubyniks Points
1. Reaction =10
2. Served in a mug =7
3. Price =5
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TOTAL SCORE = 22
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Knew how to make a mugguccino. Price let them down unfortunately, but given that it's located in a mall this is expected.
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Rubyniks Facebook Page
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Colombian Connection Coffee

Much too much of an early start this morning, especially after a few beers the night before. Definitely in need of a nice, tall mugguccino. But would it be found?

It was my first time at the Eveleigh markets and not the best day for it - a light drizzle annoyed everyone. Inside it was packed full of people and produce, with shop owners spruiking their wares behind temporary stalls. There were two coffee stalls set up and I chose the Colombian Connection Coffee joint, mainly because of a recent trip to Colombia.

There was a long line too, not surprising because of how cold the air was. Their ordering system was well mechanised, with the waitress writing orders on lids and shuffling them into a queue like a casino card dealer. There was latino music being played and some helpful information about the beans origin and - the best part - all of the staff were South American.
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Unfortunately there must be some cultural differences between the Colombian way of ordering coffee. My order of a mugguccino was met with a puzzled look and the uncertain repeat of "one mochaccino sir?" Another staff member, who was working the machine, overheard our conversation and stepped in: "he means a large coffee".

Frowning, I sorted the situation out. "Yes, a large coffee - a mugguccino."

I will put this one down to being lost in translation.

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Scoring system:
1. Reaction (You're an idiot = 0; quizzical = 5; just another order = 10)
2. Served in a mug (No mug = 0; yes mug = 10)
3. Additional Cost for Mugguccino (>$1 = 0; between .50c and $1 = 5; <.50c = 10)
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Colombian Connection Coffee Points
1. Expression =5
2. Served in a mug = 10
3. Price = 10
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TOTAL SCORE = 25
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Next time I will have to remember the Spanish word for Mugguccino -
Taza de Café
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Colombian Connection Coffee on Facebook
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Post Cafe Marrickville

I had my doubts about this trendy cafe in Marrickville. Situated in the former Post Office, Post Cafe retains the old school nature of a government building. They had some outdoor dining, which is where we sat, and I have to admit I was nervous when the Swedish-tongued waitress asked for our coffee orders up front. Yet I managed to speak clearly and boldly - "one mugguccino please". With not a moment's hesitation, she took my order and turned to my friend. So far so good.

Still, I remained unsure. Would I be served a mugguccino? Historically, the order has been taken by dim-witted coffee nerds who naively brought me a mocha, a macchiato or - one time - a muffin.

The waitress approached, my heart pumping. But yes, victory! She placed before me a large, mug-sized cup, filled with steaming coffee. Has Mugguccino!
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Scoring system:
1. Reaction (You're an idiot = 0; quizzical = 5; just another order = 10)
2. Served in a mug (No mug = 0; yes mug = 10)
3. Additional Cost for a Mugguccino (>$1 = 0; between .50c and $1 = 5; <.50c = 10)
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Post Cafe Marrickville Points
1. Expression = 10
2. Served in a mug = 10
3. Price = 10
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TOTAL SCORE = 30
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Congratulations Post Cafe Marrickville for a Perfect Mugguccino Score!
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Post Cafe Marrickville on Facebook
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